In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see

How often I judge others, thinking I know the whole story (or enough of it). I’ve always been taught not to judge others. Especially just by what’s on the surface – that things aren’t always what they seem. But I don’t think I’ve taken that to heart. Sure, I try not to immediately condemn someone in my head based on the way they dress. Or even on one thing they’ve done. But after a time or after a certain amount of info, I think this ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ thing flies out the window. I carefully open the cover and make sure I read a page, and THEN pass my judgment. Dear me. This is not okay. Oh how I need to learn this lesson. Never assume you know it all. Even if you read the whole book, maybe that’s only one piece. Maybe it’s just one book in the series. Allow me to elaborate.

Once upon a time some roommates of mine were joking around and sarcastically saying, "it's okay to miss church if ____." and filling in the blank with what they considered poor excuses or trivial reasons. However, one thing they listed has physically kept me from church before. I felt....ridiculed, though I doubt this was their intention. I felt like I needed to defend myself. Explain my actions. Let them know the real story. I didn't say anything, but I was being unjustly judged even if they didn't realize that it was me they were judging. So lesson number one, jumping to conclusions is not good because it hurts.

The other week I found myself on the opposite end of this equation - I was the one jumping to conclusions. I was reading a chapter of Turning Frued Upside Down for homework. This chapter was written by Timothy B. Smith and Matthew Draper and is entitled "Beyond the Study of the Natural Man: A gospel perspective on human nature". I really liked this chapter, in case you were wondering. Anyway, part of it reads:

Let us consider the following clinical case: Picture what it would be like to work with someone who was abandoned by his family and deceived by those who raised him. He is a man unsure of his heritage but spoiled in the most luxurious of circumstances. The client is referred to you because he recently lost his temper and killed another man. How would you respond?

Before reading the next part, I thought I had this client figured out. He'd had it hard but probably didn't rise above it ever and is now in need of serious reformation. Have you figured out what I didn't? Does this man sound familiar to you? Let me tell you what came next in the text.

In the first chapter of the Pearl of Great Price, we see exactly how the Lord worked with such a man. First, the Lord established very quickly the nature of their relationship, declaring himself as God and Moses as his son...the Lord explained his expectations for Moses; then he allowed Moses to watch him work, modeling for Moses the divine traits and attributes that he expected Moses to emulate. He shared with Moses a love and acceptance...God strengthened him and gave him even greater knowledge and insight, line upon line, until Moses understood his own role clearly as the deliverer of Israel.

Is this how I would've handled the situation? No, I'd already judged him too much at the start to recognize his potential or even see him as he was. Without love and acceptance at the start, we cannot be fair in our assessments. And since reading all that, this whole thing has been weighing on my mind. I think perhaps my entire outlook on mankind needs to change a tad. I need to be a little more patient and optimistic. A little more forgiving. And a little more humble.

Mr. Garbage Man

Dear Mr. Garbage Man,

I appreciate what you do. Truly, I do. However, you are driving me to distraction (not in a good way). Your work is a tad loud. Much like an atomic explosion caused by an earthquake in the middle of a thunderstorm. Also, that vehicle of yours makes my apartment shake. I worry that my picture on the wall may be in danger of falling. How is it that I’m always at home whenever you come around? Maybe we could work something out. Perhaps you could come when I have class? Or at least only come in the afternoons?

Sincerely,

Me.

On Dating

I've been feeling lately a distinct lack of originality in dates. Disclaimer: I have not BEEN on any dates recently, but that doesn't mean I don't hear about the dating adventures of people I know. Anyways, I thought I'd put together a list of things to do on dates. This is not a comprehensive list, mind you, because I excluded anything that I didn't think I'd personally like to do.

A note before the list: I'm old fashioned. I think it's the man's perrogative to ask the woman out. When he does this, he should plan ahead what they'll be doing and when they'll be doing it. Then he should call her and tell her the plan and only then ask if she'll be available to go with him. Surprises are fine, but let her know what kind of clothing to wear (should she dress up? dress warm? Plan on her clothes getting dirty?) When on the date, the guy should have follow-up activities to proceed to if the date is going well (if not, he can end it after the main/first activity and it's all good). Also keep in mind that you don't have to spend much money to have a good time and going in groups can help elimate awkward moments.

Old standbys:

• Dinner (more fun is a picnic)
• Movie (more fun is a drive-in)
• Concert
• Watch Sports
• Watch comedy (stand-up - the cleaner the better)
• Theater

Better Ideas:

• Laser Tag
• Play a sport
• Dancing
• Service project (can be more fun if it's a little secret thing for someone you both know)
• Prank somebody/something (don't do anything illegal or too mean though)
• Go to a fair or festival
• Shooting/skating/mini golf/bowling/frisbee golf
• Museum/art gallery/aquarium/zoo
• Hiking (not a long or hard hike though, and have a destination in mind)

Creative Ideas (these can be the most fun, but you run the risk of it getting awkward or lame if you don’t know the person well):

• Bigger/better
• Scavenger hunt
• Geocaching (bring something to leave for the next person)
• Make something (paper mache, pottery, finger painting, sidewalk chalk...)
• Science experiments (rockets, oobleck)
• Color/write something together
• Cook (experimental is best - make pizza, decorate cookies, make an exotic dish neither of you have ever had before)
• Make a video (music video would be fun!)
• Star-gazing (only on a clear, warm night and have some constellations to look for)
• Bad weather? Snow sculpture, sledding, puddle-jumping

Little Extras (these will make for short dates w/o other activities)

• Sand castles
• Fly kites
• Board games
• Take pictures